Stay-at-home mom causes controversy claiming accomplished professional friend in her 40s regrets breaking up with her ex because he wanted kids: 'She's really struggling'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 11, 2024 6:00 PM EST

It has long been debated whether women can have it all in terms of maintaining both a family and a successful career. With some exceptions, the answers seem to range from a flat no to kind of, but only if they're willing to prioritize different things at different times. Also, there are plenty out there who only ever want one or the other. There are many paths that can be taken in life, and only a few of them are going to make you happy. 

This is something that many began to ponder when one judgmental mom relayed an anecdote about her single, childless, professional friend. She claimed that she had recently broken up with her long-term boyfriend because he wanted to settle down and he didn't, leading to him quickly getting engaged to someone else and her "really struggling". It's no surprise that there were people out there who were eager to protest that version of events. If nothing else, it seems cruel to use your friend's personal life as some kind of moralizing lesson.

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    Cheezburger Image 10439723264
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Boston Mom @LaGrecca333 Follow I met up with a friend visiting from NYC. She is very successful, very cosmopolitan job, not married in her early 40's. We were close when we were younger. She talked the whole night about her recent breakup with her longtime boyfriend. She broke it off because he wanted to get married and have kids. He was from a very blue collar family in Pennsylvania and he works in the service industry. He apparently has moved on and is engaged. She's really struggling with it
    via LaGrecca333
  • 03
    Boston Mom @LaGrecca333.2d Replying to @LaGrecca333 It also made me feel a little guilty that I do have a family. I don't have a fancy job and title, but I get to wake up at 5am and go cheer my kid on in his hockey game.
    via LaGrecca333
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    LadyoftheLake ❤ @LadyoftheLakefr Replying to @LaGrecca333 Follow I'm from boston originally --work in nyc now, and have 3 kids. I've been back in Boston w my kids my mom is sick and to watch them advocate for their grandma is amazing making sure she's comfortable being a Mom is so gratifying sacrificing for other humans you love. the nurse told me your daughter is so composed and thoughtful and articulate you did a great job it reflects well on you all I can ask for nyc is sadly filled with beau
    via LadyoftheLakefr
  • 05
    SheWhoShall Not Be Na... @JL1271516 Replying to @LaGrecca333 Follow A wise woman told me in my early 20s that the only way I would get what I wanted in life was to be honest with myself. When I admitted to myself I wanted to be married, I got what I wanted.
    via JL1271516
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    Sheneka Adams @avirgoworld . 1d Replying to @LaGrecca333 A real friend wouldn't put their friend's businesss on the internet like this. I can only imagine how she'll feel if she see's this.
    via avirgoworld
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    2.0 @blixberrie 23h Replying to @LaGrecca333 Sorry. But any woman in her 40s who turns down a proposal AND doesn't want to have kids is not regretting anything
    via blixberrie
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    Cecilia DF EN @Cecilia DaForno1 Replying to @LaGrecca333 Follow For a different story, I am also mid 40s no partner and no kids, and content with my life. Single does not equal miserable. Never particularly wanted children. Sharing so others like me feel less alone.
    via CeciliaDaForno1
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    FlamePhilosopher @flamephilosophy Replying to @LaGrecca333 Follow The fact he moved on so quickly is alarming. Many people are just looking for someone to start a family with and not the love of their life. Is she genuinely grieving the love of her life or the fact she lost a good man that could have given her marriage? Was she in actual despair over losing him or the idea of what could have been? Seems like if you're deeply in love they'd have made it work because being apart is too painful. He
    via flamephilosophy
  • 10
    im nobody but i am s... @transcended Replying to @LaGrecca333 Follow Reminds me of when my BIL spent half my wedding night crying on my shoulder about how he should have married his first serious gf (who dumped him bc he wouldn't propose after 7yrs together) and now it was too late bc she was engaged and moving away
    via transcended
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    * + Effie le Fay @domesticfaery · 2d Replying to @LaGrecca333 I find it hard to believe these stories. I bet she's sad only because her ex got engaged and moved on, but not because she has any real regrets. I'm sure if he went back to her, she would still refuse to marry and have children. People change only if they work on themselves.
    via domesticfaery
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    Laura Powell @LauraPowellEsq. 2d Replying to @LaGrecca333 I am so grateful that I escaped that insane mindset before it was too late to build a lovely family.
    via LauraPowellEsq
  • 13
    vic @victoriasanusi • 1d the friend reading this
    via victoriasanusi
  • 14
    FOBS @thereal_isabel 1d • She's struggling with a breakup as any normal person would, but somehow, you 'believe' it's because she regrets not getting married and having kids. I know what you are.
    via thereal__isabel
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    LaGenevoisedeservice @RightsRobins I have a theory that a lot of these tradwives types who keep posting about how great life is as a SAHM actually feel very inadequate and are jealous of successful career women
    via RightsRobins
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    Uloma @ulxma + 1d It's common and acceptable for people to assume that not having kids or a partner by a certain age will leave you miserable. But if I talk to a woman whose life was derailed by having kids and a partner and conclude that *that* leads to misery, suddenly I'm the bad guy.
    via ulxma
  • 17
    Rebecca Reid @RebeccaCNReid - 10h Imagine going to dinner with a friend, pouring your heart out and then finding out that friend has turned your breakup into a pronatalist clout chase on Twitter.
    via RebeccaCNReid
  • 18
    amelia @VanishingSwan • 2d whenever people post about their friends mistakes or misfortunes it always feels like condescending gloating
    via VanishingSwan
  • 19
    T@Scallywag_86-12h She may be heartbroken, but I bet she would never trade places with you lol
    via Scallywag_86
  • 20
    sandi @sandi_ave. 2d "i met up with a friend." pls, some of you are having lunch with your enemies.
    via sandi_ave
  • 21
    Rush @rushariefdien ⚫2h Grieving after a breakup is normal. You know what isn't? Coming onto the internet to broadcast a confidential conversation that you had with someone who felt vulnerable. People who are happy with their lives do not do this
    via rushariefdien
  • 22
    umm.. yikes? @shitenyasays . 6h "Recent❞ breakup with a "longtime" boyfriend and he is now "moved on" and “engaged" Yeah I wouldnt want to marry him either if he moves on that fast
    via shitenyasays
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    rosie @chuuthulhu .1d I definitely think you are over-exaggerating your happiness and under-exaggerating hers in order to prove to yourself that your choices in life are superior. If you were so completely happy with your life you wouldn't feel the need to denigrate another woman's choices.
    via chuuthulhu

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friendship 40s twitter professional Twitter Thread kids relationships family breakup women
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